My dad reminded me that I should be sure to include my struggles in my blog so that people can know that things are not always perfect. I have not included every little problem I have had, but hopefully this will give you an opportunity read some of the struggles I am having.
Right now I am struggling right now with a combination of planning things for next year, while still being present here. It has been rather difficult. There are some things that I know I need to accomplish that I cannot do until I get home. Thinking about all these things and imagining next year makes me rather home sick. It is strange too. I know that I am not going back to the way things were. I will be in a different state and all my friends are in different places as well. My little sister is going to college, my oldest sister is having a baby, and my mom and dad are now beginning to look at what they are going to do when they grow up. Even still I sometimes long to be in next year already. It is some little things. I am looking forward to being able to pick up the phone and call my friends and family. I can talk to them now, but it is only if we are both online. Also, I am really looking forward to having a definite plan and list of things to do. It is weird what you miss. I often have been in the office without things to do. I know that the YAV year talks about being and not focusing so much on doing, but there have been many days when I have little to do and there really isn’t anyone else in the office. Either that or they are in the office, but are working on their programs etc and there isn’t much I can do to help. It is these times that I miss my to do list and goals. One other thing I am looking forward to, strangely enough, is independence. I thought by coming I would gain more of a sense of independence. That is definitely true. I travel by myself to Lima and with the other YAVs on vacation. Still along with that comes living with my host family. I am helping with chores at specific times of day. Don’t get me wrong I am fine helping with chores. It is something I definitely should do as a working member of the family. I am just used to doing chores on my own time schedule in college. It is hard to adjust to being told when, where, and how to do all the chores again. Besides that I don’t really have much of a social life with people my age. I mean I go to the young adult service and work on the young adult program, but really the socializing that takes place is volley ball(which I learned early on I am really not good at) and church activities. I think it is probable that some of the other young people do other things, but not having a key to the front door and not wanting to wake my family at night can make things difficult. Plus quite honestly with going to church 2 times Sunday, Tuesday, and Saturday, being in the office all day, a meeting Thursday, and a radio program Saturday morning, while not having tons to accomplish, actually do I am doing a lot. I am just looking forward to having my own schedule again.
All that being said I know that there are things from here that I will miss when I go back to the States. One of the previous yavs talked about how she was homesick while she was in her placement, and homesick for her placement when she went back to the States. I think that I can imagine what she was saying. Well I guess I will end this by asking you to keep me in your prayers. I will keep you in mine. Let me know what is going on in your life. God Bless!
I am dying for you to get back in cell phone range, too! It will be nice to just be able to pick up the phone and call you :)
ReplyDeleteI am totally with you on constantly thinking about next year. I'm sure that it's a little different for me seeing as how I'm still in the States and all, but I feel like it's a constant waiting game. Waiting to hear whether or not I'll get a job or be student teaching. If I get a job, then I need to find an apartment near my school and I need to figure out what I have and what I'll still need to put in the apartment. If I am student teaching, it's likely that I'll live at Eric's house in Plano. Either way, I'll be living by myself for the first time, which to be honest completely freaks me out, but is exciting at the same time. There are a few other things I'm waiting for, too, that will affect how I look at life.
Long story short, I will definitely keep you in my prayers. Also, please, please, PLEASE let me know if there is anything I can do to help! I know you have a lot of things to do that you actually need to be here for, but if there's anything I can do while you and your family are in Italy or that I can do before you get home, I'm all yours! Don't hesitate to ask!